MAGNIFY

MAGNIFY the screaming word for this MONDAY (MY favorite day of the week). I love a project with a beginning and an ending point. I have always been one that enjoys the planning and preparing process MUCH MORE that arriving at the the finish line. That tends to leave me feeling a great deal of let down when I actually make it to the destination to which I was traveling. Unfinished business makes me a bit MANIC and quite honestly MISERABLE! Today that is exactly the spot at which I find MYSELF.

The new normal in my life without my bubbling blonde has made for MANY MOMENTS of despair. It seems that disappointments (and life is full of them) seem larger than life right now. Even the smallest and MOST ridiculous things seem to be MOUNTAINOUS. Things like a announcement in a church bulletin or the return of a poorly constructed lamp have been MASSIVE in MY MIND (if you don't believe ME ask my MARVELOUS MATE) I have been looking high and low for the old ME and she has apparently has left the building. If you find ME please let ME know where I am at! The quite little voices in my head and heart (MEMORIES) have turned up the volume and are bursting my eardrums this afternoon!

At the risk of losing anyone that MAY be listening I want to say that one year ago today MY life was normal and on the upswing there were MANY grand and MARVELOUS things occurring in our lives and we were looking to the future with great anticipation. Then on April 19, 2010, I get a call and hear "MAMA" the tests are positive its cancer. At that MOMENT I didn't actually comprehend the MAGNITUDE of the words being spoken but as I replay and replay those very words in my head today I completely understand that MY world was forever changed.

MANY have said it is time to MOVE on and in MANY ways we have in fact MOVED forward. But some days I just need to reflect. Family dynamics are certainly not the same, for a very few of the toxic relationships I am actually glad to see them go! However for MANY MANY MORE of those family realtionships I am very sad. The time of MOURNING MAY indeed come to an expected end but the days of grief linger ever so slowly. This is a project that doesn't seem to have a ending point and like I said in the beginning that tends to leave ME feeling MISERABLE.

I am thinking that just MAYBE when this journey ends that I MAY MANAGE to write a MANUAL on MANEUVERING the MAZE. MIGHT just release it in MARCH. MARKET it by MAIL-ORDER at a MARKDOWN price (offering a coupon of course). Now that is a project that requires planning and preparing! Who knows it may even become a MASTERPIECE!

As I stated above I love MONDAY and it is my prayer that God will MAGNIFY his grace and MERCY in all our lives today.